Could online marriage counselling be the answer for your relationship?

Relationships are hard work. 

That’s not to say that they aren’t also beautiful, and fun, and exciting, and deep-rooted. But anyone who has been in a relatively serious relationship cannot deny the continuous ups and downs, as well as unexpected right hooks that leave them a little stunned for a moment. 

In the beginning of the relationship, there are plenty of dealbreakers to work through to determine compatibility with your partner. As time goes on, there are new challenges that enter into the equation. One of the most common challenges, and reasons why relationships fail, is the challenge that comes with communicating effectively.

In a previous post we refer to communication as the keystone to a healthy relationship, and most partners will agree that communication makes or breaks a relationship. The exciting news is that this is where counselling can prove to be the greatest gift to couples in both relationships and marriages. The difficulty sometimes can be in getting both partners to agree to accepting help.

Why is there resistance? 

Often the biggest obstacle when it comes to marriage counselling is when one partner is pro seeking help from a relationship psychotherapist and the other is not. 

For the partner who is not, there is often a fear attached to welcoming a stranger into their private life:

Will they judge me? 

Will they side with my partner, proving my partner ‘right’ and therefore me ‘wrong’? 

Will they expose me for who I really am? 

To be fair, it is a scary concept: someone who is trained to look for what is going on underneath is pinning their attention on you and your relationship. That is intimidating. In addition to fear, there is pride. There is this belief that if the marriage is in such a terrible state that it is necessary for external intervention, then it is beyond repair and both parties have undoubtedly married the wrong person. This, however, is very rarely the case.

When one removes their own doubts and insecurities from the idea of intervention from a certified couples counsellor, they will be able to see marriage counselling for what it really is: 

It is a process where couples are guided, with the help of an impartial mediator, to explore their relationship, identify misunderstandings, and learn how to resolve conflict in a more positive and helpful way.

There are a number of common reasons for seeking help from a relationship psychotherapist. Whether online relationship counselling or in-person sessions, knowing when it is necessary and advantageous to seek help is a great starting point. 

It also has really proven to work! According to the American Psychological Association, about 75 percent of couples who opt for therapy say it improves their relationships. But in-person therapy may not be for everyone.

Why taking it online could be the better option

Another common reason for resisting therapy is the issue of time. 

We all lead such busy lives, with work being the number one thief of our time. As a result, sometimes getting away from the desk can feel like an impossible task. 

When we do eventually close the laptop and clock off for the day, the last thing we may feel like is getting into a car, struggling through traffic, and trying to muster up the appropriate amount of enthusiasm about being in a counselling session. It should be a priority, but it’s easy to understand how it can feel like just another thing to tick off of a long and exhausting to-do list.

This is where online marriage counselling can prove to be a gamechanger:

  1. Online therapy offers much more flexibility in terms of time
  2. It offers more convenience and you can have the session in an environment where you feel most comfortable
  3. Oftentimes it is more cost-effective than conventional counselling
  4. You still have mediated discussions with an experienced therapist who can provide tools for how to communicate more effectively with one another

Online therapy can feel a little strange, at first. Initially you may find it difficult to connect with your therapist through a screen, but if you persevere through those first few sessions, virtual counselling can prove to be a highly rewarding, not to mention convenient, form of therapy.

The longer you wait, the harder it can become to get the relationship with your partner back on track. Unhealthy behavior and resentful feelings can become more difficult to change the longer that they continue.

If you and your partner are looking for couples therapists in Kitchener, Waterloo to help with your relationship or would like to improve on your communication skills within the relationship, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us! Contact COCA Psychotherapy couples counselling services in Kitchener, Waterloo here to book an appointment or give us a call at 226-336-5787 for a free consultation over the phone.

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